HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Who actually REPLIES to these stupid emails?? I guess someone must or they wouldn't keep sending them out. I don't know how a person could fall for this!? and if you worked for a 'reputable bank in South Africa' wouldn't you just name the bank???? I mean come on - make it sound KIND OF REAL WTF!? Oh and he has a gmail account - cuz that is so legit for a banker!

So hilarious:

I am Dr. Fredrick Mbeki, the account officer of a reputable bank in South Africa. There is an account open in this bank in 2002 and since 2004 and nobody has operated on this account again. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I do not remit this money out urgently it would be forfeited for nothing.

The owner of this account is Mr. Daniel Benson, a foreigner, Business Man and a miner at Kruger Gold Company, a Geologist by profession and he died since 2003.No other person knows this account or anything concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that this company does not know anything about this account and the money involved is One hundred and Thirty Six Million United States Dollars (US$ 136 Million).

I want us to first transfer US$ 36 Million from this money into your safe overseas account before the rest. I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local bank here, but can only be approved to any foreign account because the money is in United States Dollars and the former owner Mr. Daniel Benson is a foreigner too. I know that this message will come to you as surprise as we don't know ourselves before. We will sign an agreement, but be sure that it is real and a genuine business. You can view the web site bellow for more information on our late client.http://archives.cnn.com/2003/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/

I only got your contact information from my secretary who operates computer; with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, considering my position as a public servant. You are the only person that I have contacted in this business; so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take immediately.

Send also your private telephone and fax numbers including the full details of your account to be used for the deposit. I want us to meet face-to-face and sign a binding agreement to bind us together so that you can receive this money into your account where the fund will be safe. And I will fly to your country for withdrawal and sharing and other investment.

Meanwhile, I am contacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with foreign account and foreign beneficiary. I need your full co-operation to make this work fine because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information of this account, which I will give to you as soon as you indicate your sincerity to co-operate with me, and capability to handle such amount in strict confidence and trust according to my instruction and advice for our mutual benefit because this opportunity may never come again in my life. I need a truthful and God fearing person in this business because I don't want to make a mistake so I need your strong assurance and trust.

With my position in the office I don't want anything that will jeopardize my job so I advice that we should make secrecy and confidentiality our primary working condition, bearing in mind that I am a public servant. I will also use my position and influence to effect legal approvals and onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance forms of the ministries and foreign exchange department.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be giving 25% of the total amount, 70% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred the process of the transfer. I look forward to your earliest reply through my alternative email address:

Yours sincerely,

Dr.Fredrick Mbeki

Are People REALLY This Stupid??

Who the hell really believes these bullshit emails?? Who actually give these bozos their bank account information????

I got this email today and laughed so hard I had to share.

First this person claims to be American - yet can't form sentences properly, form normal paragraphs, or spell.

'Good to read from you'? What the hell does that mean?

And what the fuck is 'USA search engine machine directories'? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Secondly what person in the army has access to 5 million dollars? They have to be smoking crack if they think I believe that one. Oh yea they found it in a barrel and their sergeant said they can have some. Yeaaaaaah.

And trying to prey on people by saying you were shot in war? Disgusting. What a scumbag jackass!

Here's the gem of an email:

Good to read from you,i don't know how you will see this but i need to seek this assistance and hope you will be able to understand my plight i am Sgt stephanie Hizer,an American soldier with Swiss background,serving in the military with the army's 3rd infantry division.With a very desperate need for assistance, I have summed up courage to contact you.I found out about you in a journal "USA search engine machine directories".I am seeking for your kind assistance to move the sum of ( $ 5 million u.s. dollars ) Five million united states dollars to you in other to get this fund secure for both of us. In which i will compensate you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care until I complete my service here. This is no stolen money, and there are no dangers involved. Source of money: Some money in various currencies was discovered in barrels at a farmhouse near one of Saddam's old palaces in Tikrit-Iraq during a rescue operation, and it was agreed by staff Col. Kenneth Buff and I that some part of this money be shared among both of us before informing anybody about it since both of us saw the money first. This was quite an illegal thing to do, but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risk we have taken with our lives in this hell hole, in which my brother in-law was killed by a road side bomb last week.The above figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a British contact working here and his office enjoy some immunity, I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot. he does not know the real contents of the package, and believes that it belongs to a british/american medical doctor who died in a rail accident. I have now found a much secured way of getting the package out of Iraq to a near by city called KL in malaysia close to the forest we live for hideout and was secured under City bank of Malaysia which i spelt to them that the above money belong to a foreigner from USA and was ask to provide some details of the beneficiary for you to pick up the fund, hence why i have to get you contacted for mutual assistance in other to help me with the above matter in this regards. I will discuss this with you when I am sure that you are willing to assist me. I want you to tell me how much you will take from this money for the assistance ,Left to me i will love to share you %20 out of this fund .One passionate appeal I will make to you is not to discuss this matter with anybody since i am still in active services, you should have any reasons to reject this offer, please and please destroy this message as any leakage of this information will be too bad for us soldier's here in Iraq. I do not know how long we will remain here and soonest we are moving to Chad, and i have been shot, wounded and survived two suicide bomb attacks by the special grace of God, this and other reasons i will mention later has prompted me to reach out for help, i honestly want this matter to be resolved immediately, please contact me as soon as possible my only way of communication is via email and after this fund have been secured by you,then we will schedule for a meet up in the state. Kindly reply to my utmost kind gesture in this regards Sgt.Stephanie Hizer God Bless America